Stay at Home Mom Lessons
Being a Wife and a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM) is one of those things in life that has a steep learning curve. We make mistakes and hopeful learn from them and change our behavior; sometimes we don’t. Throughout the beginning of my marriage and motherhood journey, I have made a few mistakes. Some of these have become stories my (ex)husband loves to tell to embarrass me. So, I figured I would put them all out there for everyone to read instead of giving him the pleasure. Enjoy!
Lesson #1: Always Check the Oven Before you Turn it on
Sometimes, men were brought up to store things in the oven. Specifically, pizza boxes with left over pizza in them. If your husband likes to do this and you didn’t know, you may end up smoking yourself out of the house. This is a very dangerous fire hazard. Don’t even bother asking him to stop after you almost burn the house down because “that’s where you’re supposed to put the leftover pizza”. Apparently, there is an unwritten rule about checking the oven before you turn it on. Who knew people used an oven for something other than cooking!
Lesson #2: Cook Your Rice Separate
Since rice is cooked by absorbing liquid, it is best to cook it in water and separate from whatever liquid you are using to flavor your meat. Especially if you are using some kind of orange, mango, pineapple juice to create a concoction you have never made before in the slow cooker. The rice will be flavored, and potent I might add. You may have to order take out or pop a frozen pizza in the oven; but don’t leave the box in the oven!
Lesson #3: Rice Expands, A Lot!
When a recipe calls for something like 3 cups of rice, it is referring to the amount of cooked rice not uncooked rice. If you put 3 cups of uncooked rice in a pot and cook it expecting to come out with 3 cups of cooked rice, you will be very shocked. Rice actually expands to 3 times its uncooked size once it is cooked. Repeat after me, rice expands a lot!
Lesson #4: Separate Your Whites and Colors
So, you and your husband both got brand new shirts for Christmas. That’s great! Go ahead and wash them so that you can wear them as soon as possible. But, if one is white and the other is a bright hunting orange, you should probably do two separate loads of laundry. If you don’t, that new white shirt is going to become a new tie-dye shirt. Good thing it was a Florida Gators shirt and the orange (kind of) worked with it.
Lesson #5: Do Not Take A Bath With Your Recently Fed Baby
When babies eat, they typically poop. I know this is a new concept and everything, but it’s true. On top of that, they are even more likely to poop after you have taken their diaper off. So, do not think that you are going to feed your baby, take a nice warm, relaxing bath with your baby, and then go to bed. Chances are, there will be more steps involved in the process that include freaking out because you just got “shat” on.
Lesson #6: Dish Washing Soap is Not the Same as Dish Washing Detergent
Yes, both the soap and the detergent are made to wash dishes. But, one is made for washing dishes in the sink and by hand (soap) and one is used for washing dishes in the dish washer (detergent). These are not interchangable. If you use dish washing soap in your dishwasher, you will end up using your kitchen as a bubble bath. Although, it looks fun at first, it is not fun to clean up.
Lesson #7: Stew is Not Supposed to be Too Thick
This tip was passed down to me from my mom. Stew should only derive it’s thickness from the meat, potatoes and other veggies you put into it. So if someone tells you that stew is supposed to be thick, this does not mean that you should add flour to it until it becomes a paste that your could use to build a house.
Lesson #8: Silence is Scary When You Have a Toddler
Do not, under any circumstances relax because it is quiet. Most likely, this is when you should be most worried. Do not assume that if it is quiet in your house, that nothing disastrous is going on. This is the moment when the most havoc is wreaked. Check every room in the house. Toddlers are fast workers!